Friday, January 27, 2012

Sassy


You are what you eat


I woke up in a Fantastic mood! I say "fantastic" because even I'm not sure as to what words are going to come out of my mouth next. Fun right?! I think so anyways ;) Nothing wrong with a little sassiness to make the day interesting!

Since our household is on the oh-so-amazing lock down, I have come up with all sorts of fun things for us to do...outdoors. Right?! Just like how I have no vehicle but can think of a million reasons that I need to go for a drive. Blah!

I find myself looking on Pinterest for that magic quote or saying that will pop out and smack me in the forehead and get me into a much better mood. This is what I found:
Pinned Image
Um, YEH! Ok. So with this lovely day and my fantastic attitude that I have, I'm going to have to go with Kenny Chesney-Reality! =)

good quote.

Hm, I'm feeling like a better mom already! hahah!

Definitely putting this quote up in Tyler's room- describes my boy to a T!!
How cute?! Love this!! So need this for my boys <3

Well Grayson is in charge and he isn't ok with me being on the computer. Guess my break is over!
~Tomorrow is a new day~






Monday, January 23, 2012

Grayson has been fighting this nasty cold for nearly 2 weeks. It's got him so congested he can hardly eat! Poor lil man! It didn't seem to phase him at dinner though hah! He ate like a champ! I love seeing him eat lots and lots. Buddy even ate all his "baby trees" -broccoli!
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We were gifted this beauty by grammy and it came in the mail today!
I snapped a pic before I had her fully assembled and apparently didn't take one after, oops. I tried it out and it works so nice! Clean up isn't bad either!! Yay!! Thanks, Grammy!!! <3 Now I'll be searching for all kinds of recipes so if you have any delish ones, email me!!! ;)

Yesterday the twinkies turned 20 months old....20 months!!! How crazy is that?! Which means in a short four months they will be 2 years old!! Time to start thinking of a theme for the party!!

Emma wouldn't smile (imagine that!), and Grayson is showing off his new "cheese" face! LOL! He was saying "eeeeeee" while he did it too haha hes so silly!!
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Haven't been up to much around here lately. Just hanging out and having lots of playtime! Loving mommy and kiddo time =)

Grayson loves his turtle,as you can see, and I have to admit so do I. He wakes up super early, we're talking 5am! Now instead of crying like he used to, he just sits and plays with the turtle now! Sure makes me happy to get that extra half hour-hour of sleep!!! Grayson has even said, yes SAID, "turtle" and crawls around looking for it. Loving that hes becoming more verbal.
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I have a confession to make. I am addicted to Pinterest....phew!~ I feel so much better getting that out and in the open..........soooooo if you are on pinterest, follow me ;) If you need an invite, leave your email below or message me on facebook and I will surely invite you to join me in Pinterest Land!

Have a great evening, and remember....
Choose Joy! =)


Thursday, January 19, 2012

The cold icky winter weather finally found Minnesota! It has been bitterly freezing the last few days, we're talking at least -10!! AHH! I was sooo not ready for this! BRR!! I am not one for the cold temps :/
We also were visited by a nasty cold virus. So far nearly all of us have caught the darn thing! Grayson was the first and its spreading down the line and back.
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It's already Thursday, again. Chemo days blow! Just saying... I hate that my little baby will be sick for the next 2-3 days and I will need to give him meds every 4 hours to make him feel better. I can't wait until we are hopefully cancer free this summer and remain cancer free!!
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I was given a link to a youtube video that has my mind a spinning! A very sweet lady *rolls eyes* voiced her opinion on the 'Bald & Beautiful Barbie.' She basically stated she though it was a bad idea and one comment she made just stuck in my head, "bald and ugly." How can someone think that of a child? The worst part is, I'm sure there is others like her!
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Now, I am off to attempt to watch Greys Anatomy. There is going to be a case of a kid with a brain tumor that is deemed inoperable. Sounds like I'm setting myself up for a good cry session huh?! haha! Have a good evening all!

Monday, January 16, 2012

If he's anything like me....

Pinned Image




Still kickin!! Just been busy with the kids and been busy straightening things out in my life, one of which was with the college I used to attend. I am thinking of  attending a community college nearby (Inver Hills?), but this is all dependant on Grayson!  It's nice to know that my GPA of nearly 4.0 at my previous college comes in handy when wanting to go back to school at some point =)

Been doing a lot of indoor fun stuffs with the kids lately. I think mainly to keep my own sanity! We've been cooking new things and have started a new diet. Made forts in the living room the other day. FUN!
Also, CaringBridge update on Grayson's therapy appointment today.

~Random tid-bit....
My husband and I picked certain songs for the twins when they were born.....we were listening to the radio one day and certain country songs just became "Emma's Song!" or "Grayson's Song!" and we did this for all the kids. Grayson's song is Anything Like Me-Brad Paisley. We haven't been able to listen to this song in nearly a year. Not since Grayson was diagnosed. Listen to the song if you aren't familiar with it, you will have a better understanding and just imagine having all those dreams for you son, and then finding out he has cancer..... There's been times that we are driving around running errands and the song comes on the radio, instantly flooding us with emotions causing us to both to reach for radio and turn the station! I've added the song to my playlist on my blog in hopes that I will be able to listen to the song and sing along again, thinking of all the things we have to look forward to Grayson doing...............
                                        

Saturday, January 7, 2012

1 year

Today is the day. Today marks exactly 1 year since Grayson was diagnosed with a brain tumor. To be honest, I think I felt worse yesterday than I do today. I did a ton of thinking, re-living, and crying. I think I must have got it all out of my system because today I don't feel that heavy sadness.
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I said in the previous post that today is like an anniversary of a death, and I DO feel that way. When I was told my 7 month old baby boy had a brain stem tumor that most likely was not operable, my heart sank and my world stopped. Not only did it stop, it crashed down around me. I will never forget the feelings that day nor the words told to me.

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Although today is a sad day of mourning, it is a day that also symbolizes a rebirth. As I think back on this year of constant doctoring, caring for my son, and my family, I realize that I see things in a different way...in a new light. The flowers smell sweeter, the sunrises seem more beautiful, places seem more interesting, messes don't seem as messy, and seeing my baby boy playing cars and legos on the living room floor with the older kids all the sudden became some of my dreams come true. Life is more fun and we truly live for each and every day.

I began to see things that "normal" mothers may not take the time to see nor feel. I no longer feel mad about this, but thankful. We are blessed to have Grayson here and the lessons his diagnosis has brought us.

I was sent this picture by a friend, and the saying/quote is so true.

Take what you are handed and make the best of it =)


Friday, January 6, 2012

My heart is heavy and I feel as many emotions as one could possibly feel. A year ago today, we were living our lives and didn't have any idea that tomorrow would be the day that changed our whole lives!

A Year ago yesterday, Grayson had his very first MRI. It was only an option for us, and the neurologist did not push us into wanting it done, we just felt we needed to go ahead and have it done. That way we would know for sure what was going on. --If you don't know his history or our story, or simply don't remember, Grayson was 7 months old and not sitting up and having tremors bad. They thought he had a stroke after lots of labs and testing ruled out any other disorders. Therefore the MRI was to prove/disprove the stroke.-- 

Tomorrow marks exactly 1 year to the day, that we got that phone call from the neurologist. The one no parent ever could possibly prepare themselves for. I remember him telling me he hated to tell me over the phone but he HAD to. He then proceeded to tell me that the MRI showed a "mass" in the middle of Grayson's brain stem. I can still feel every feeling I had during, and after, that phone call. I feel numb, scared, sad.....everything. I felt like our world had just completely crumbled around us and nothing would ever be the same. It hasn't...

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Our neurologist saved Grayson's life. Had he not supported us in our decision to have an MRI done, even though MANY doctors advised against it, Grayson would not be here with us today. Thank you, Dr. Feyma! You are an amazing neurologist and we love you!

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I think back on this year since his diagnosis and it's been unbelievably hard. Mentally, physically, emotionally....everything. I've found a strength in myself, and in my family, that I didn't know existed. It's been horribly hard! Grayson's diagnosis date marks a death...the death of how our life used to be and the dreams and hopes we once had.

We need lots of love, help, and encouragement during this journey!

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I've added some links. Hope you enjoy and remember, I love and need to hear from you, whether you think I don't like you, or you were an enemy at one point (lol). I need and want to hear from everyone! It keeps me going!!!! =)


Here is my journal entry a year ago. I had no idea how hard it would be to travel this road!


This page is set up so you can easily leave us or Grayson a message. We will also have some fundraising info here shortly!! Become a fan of the page and be a part of Grayson's Hope!


Tomorrow we mourn the death of our old life, that took place one year ago, but celebrate and embrace our new life. We keep our hopes high and our faith strong!

I have included a slideshow of our journey through 2011.


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